A lesson from high school freshmen

I’ve spent the last six and a half years talking to anyone who will listen to me about the inspiring children with special needs who receive services at Heartspring. But I’ve spent the last 33 and a half years of my life (that’s all of it, by the way) trying to make sure one certain person with special needs is happy and living a fulfilling life.

Growing up, having a sister who was “different” was tough – especially during our teenage years. Not because I wished she was like all my friends’ sisters (ok, maybe I did a little), but more so because I always worried about how she was being treated by others. Since Sara (my sister) was exactly two years behind my older brother Andy in high school and two years ahead of me, she (thankfully) was never left to endure one of those formidable years without one of us looking out for her – not that we could shield her from all the tough situations. We were lucky though. We grew up in a small town where, for the most part, people were good to Sara. Most of her classmates accepted her for who she was and there were some people in her class that were genuinely nice to her. Of course small school or not, there are always those who make things hard. But like I said, for the most part, she’s always had someone close to her to be her advocate, helping her along her journey. For the last 17 years that’s been her boyfriend Jamie, who through thick and thin, has been by her side. They live exactly one block away from my mom in Lindsborg and enjoy living their lives they way they want to live them. She loves her job as a people greeter at Wal-Mart and is dang good at it, too. Seems she’s doing awfully well for someone who many thought would never move out of my parents’ house.

This week, my job took me to four different schools, from elementary schools to high schools, to film Heartspring’s Autism CARE Walk commercial. The gist of the spot is to highlight the successes that various children with autism have experienced – to show that, just like kids without an autism diagnosis, there are things they excel at and enjoy. One of our stars was voted friendliest student by his entire school. Another loves science. But what touched me the most (and left me very close to tears) was the last stop of the day at an area high school. We went to film Matthew and a bunch of his buddies (all freshmen) on the football team. Their job was to tell the world how special Matthew is and what an integral role he plays on the team as manager. What made this experience so significant is that every one of the boys that surrounded Matthew wearing their Andover Central football jerseys truly cares about him. They weren’t there for their 15 minutes of fame. Each one has been a good friend to Matthew – many since early elementary school. One boy in particular really stood out and I later learned from Matthew’s dad that he has taken Matthew under his wing since fourth grade. Their bond was immediately evident and it was moving. Think back to your freshman year of high school. What was it that most concerned you? For this young man, it’s making sure that Matthew is accepted and treated with respect. How’s that for mature?

Travis and I have often talked about how Lillian will grow up around individuals with special needs. She actually doesn’t have much of a choice since she was born into the Heartspring family. It’s important to us for her to learn acceptance and compassion at an early age. With all the bullying and hate that peppers the news on a nightly basis, it’s our duty to help her see beyond any external characteristics and focus what’s good, what’s special and unique about everyone she encounters – to not see disability, ethnicity, or sexual orientation – but to see that, more often than not, they are fabulous people worthy of our kindness and respect. I was reminded of that Monday while watching those eight boys in Andover.

A reminder to all parents: hate breeds hate and ignorance breeds ignorance. Take the time to educate your children about the Golden Rule. Heck, take the time to remind yourself.

Here’s the finished commercial. I hope you get something out of it.